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Time:07:08 pm
the term 'casual dating' is totally misleading. it's been my experience that there's pretty much nothing casual about it.
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Current Music:cc- rain king
Subject:i've been there before and i deserve a little more
Time:01:38 pm

seems like i may be the same girl that used to love thunder storms after all
 

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Current Location:jill's house
Subject:obla di bla da
Time:06:11 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] optimistic

+1717586**** (5:15:11 PM): it scares me honestly. what if i start liking you all over again and then you turn back into a "fuckin druggie bitch" you could kill my cat and bring us a lil closure
ohlindsy (5:47:15 PM): i'd love to say it's not possible but anything could happen i guess. am i totally selfish for wanting you to just ignore all that?
ohlindsy (6:10:14 PM): ps youd thank me if i killed your cat


i missed you and i know you missed me and that was since before the last few times we saw eachother even.

i really can't blame you for being leery of me. i thought you were just being a dick. i'm a dick for not realizing how i hurt people sometimes.

i love this dance, for now at least
 
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Time:07:30 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] seething
you know i think its fucking funny that he thinks his moms boyfriend is a dick. at least her boyfriend takes her out sometimes.

jesus fucking christ i hate it when i have no one to blame but myself.
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Current Music:mc lars stuck in my head
Current Location:jill's house
Subject:tupac incense burners are not punk rock
Time:02:39 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] okay
i have been feeling pretty lately. wearing dresses and halter tops and things.

sometimes i think and act like such a guy. like, an asshole guy.

cosmic/karmic retribution has been a real bitch.

zoey got her ears pierced!

i have a good feeling about getting a job.

everything is going to be ok if i just keep doing the next right thing. if i get frozen by fear again things are going to go to shit.

i need to stop feeling sorry for myself and believe people when they encourage me.

today: ID somehow and charlotte russe and hot topic hah
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Current Music:citizen cope clarence greenwood recordings
Subject:what you've done here is put yourself between a bullet and a target
Time:11:49 am
Current Mood:[mood icon] contemplative
i would rather have a coronary than another crush. i don't normally get typical crushes, even with people i've ended up dating. it's been friends that turned into something more. crushes always end badly. i guess if they felt good they wouldn't call it a 'crush'.

change is the only constant. nothing is no more real than anything else. you understand people better than you think. thoughts are waves, none are unique to us but some we experience more personally. we call these 'our thoughts'. when someone's behavior confuses me more likely than not it's not that i can't understand but that i won't accept. a self-defense mechanism which isn't such a bad thing in itself i guess. still i want to know others and myself better than that, so i'm practicing keeping my real-o-meter in the red these days; even more so than normal. who knows if that's good or not but those who matter won't care and those who care won't matter. yahtzee.

lah lah introspectreflect
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Current Music:modest mouse this devil's workday
Subject:egomaniac with an inferiority complex
Time:11:38 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] cynical

oh lindsy (10:01:57 PM): was spending time with a friend
oh lindsy (10:02:03 PM): he had to drop some folks off at a meeting
oh lindsy (10:02:06 PM): friends saw him with me
oh lindsy (10:02:13 PM): guilt tripped him into taking me home
oh lindsy (10:02:20 PM): mind you not one of the three people that gave him shit
oh lindsy (10:02:30 PM): has more than a week sober, everybody recently relapsed
oh lindsy (10:02:41 PM): but they didn't stop hanging out with anyone that can't get a day sober together
oh lindsy (10:02:49 PM): and im just as irritated that hes such a pussy
oh lindsy (10:02:52 PM): if thats really what it is
oh lindsy (10:02:57 PM): maybe he just doesnt like me that much
oh lindsy (10:03:03 PM): but if thats the fucking case just say it
oh lindsy (10:03:05 PM): be real
oh lindsy (10:03:48 PM): cause i guess the truth of the matter is if he still wanted to be spending time with me right now he wouldve made that happen right?
oh lindsy (10:03:56 PM): nobody cares that much what anybody thinks
oh lindsy (10:04:26 PM): whatever im going to watch the Dancing With Myself video and eat cake
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Current Music:billy idol dancing with myself!
Current Location:jill's house
Subject:as for those things that act as markers in your life, but in between you can't remember
Time:12:12 pm
Current Mood:[mood icon] rejuvenated

better, smarter, more grown up and a better daughter - coming soon

i'm not so sure i'd like being dead though i'm not much better lying here in my bed
opened my eyes up to see some sun had fallen over me and i said
so strange, now that i've awoke- yeah i felt so changed when morning broke

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lovetax
View:Recent Entries.
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You're looking at the latest 8 entries.